Jennadventures.

What a weekend. That's all I can say. I'm sitting on the smallest, bumpiest flight I've ever taken in my life reflecting on what the hell has happened in my life in the last five months.

First off, I fell in love. Not like "oh he's so cute" love... More like...I plan on spending the rest of my life with him love. 

I'm sure if you're my friend in Facebook or Instagram you see my five bazillion posts about Jasper and how I miss him and I love him and blah blah blah. You all see that he's in the military and that he's gone. But I want to explain more. Not because I want anyone to feel sorry for me or him, but because I want people to understand better something that I have been 100% naive to my entire life. 

When I met Jasper, I didn't want a boyfriend. I was so over dating. But that's how it always works, right?! I quickly realized that he wasn't going anywhere. Not only that, but this was a different kind of love that I've never felt and won't ever feel again because he's totally the man I'm going to marry. 

Jasper told me on our third date or so that he was "leaving" in three months. Knowing he was in the Marine Corps I just assumed it would be for a year maybe less. But he quickly followed it with "for three years". Now, what the hell would you think if someone said that to you? I wasn't planning on liking him but the more time I spent with him the more I began to open a little itty bitty piece of my heart to him. I was confused. He told me he's going to protect embassies. This means he goes to school for two months in Virginia (as he is now) and then from there he will be sent to a different country every year for the three years. So I didn't make any decisions right then and there and just kept moving forward with him.

Some days I would completely forget he was leaving. Other days I would completely freak out and panic realizing I was totally falling for someone that soon wouldn't be in my life. I would try to talk to him about it and he said he wanted to try to make it work. My "logical" mind said it would never but my heart said to stick around. 

When he asked me to go to Kansas with him to meet his family before he went to school I knew he was really in it. So I went. And not only did I fall even deeper in love with him but I fell in love with his family. They couldn't be more loving, hilarious, welcoming and fun. I could have stayed there for months. 

Anticipating Jasper leaving had me a wreck. I cried. I cried a lot. I still do. I'm crying on the back of this plane writing this right now. I haven't cried this much in my entire life. I feel like such a baby but it's the kind of crying that you can't control or fight. You just have to cry sometimes. We said our goodbyes and I flew home to Temecula and a week later he went out to Virginia. I can honestly say, this emotional roller coaster was nothing I could have prepared for. And now I can say, <I> I get it</I>. All the military wives and girlfriends that would be so sad when their husbands or boyfriends left, I totally get it. It's not easy. It won't ever be. Having your best friend so far from you, and no one to vent to or hug you or laugh with sucks. Like super duper sucks. But how you handle it is what matters. And I have to say my family and friends have been trying so hard to keep me busy and happy and I'm sure they want to tell me to STFU all the time but they don't. They listen and nod and hug me and give me advice and I couldn't appreciate them more. 

Jasper and I communicate regularly (for now) because we have a schedule. We've had our crazy rough patches but we've learned VERY quickly the importance of communication and being 100% open and honest with each other. I anticipate each new country he goes to will present new issues but I have faith we can figure them out. We make a great team. 

I lucked out and because of my wonderful friend and my family was able to last minute go surprise Jasper just three weeks before I'm flying out for his graduation. The few crazy hours we spent together this weekend were worth every minute of these stupid flights and airports and crying and whatever else we've been through. And you know what? In that six weeks or so we've been apart, he's changed a lot. But it's not bad. Because when we saw each other we fell right back into "us". I left Virginia today the proudest girlfriend I could be. I'm so impressed at what he's done and is doing out there. While I know I'm going to have my freak out moments when I worry like crazy about him, I have to remember what he said to me... That he's going to finish this program for us. US. Because we're a team and we are in this together forever. 

So while many, even myself at times, have had their doubts, I can proudly say that this is going to work. And all the heartache and five bazillion tears are worth it in the long run. We got this! 💪

Ps. For all you people asking why we're not married, he's not allowed to be married or have children going into this program. But you can sure bet I plan on being his wife three years from now! ;)