haaaaaaaapppy anniversary!

6 months?! i honestly cannot believe it has been 6 months since i started VBL... it feels like it all happened so fast but then again the start of the challenge feels like forever ago. i'm finally living life the way i want to. being me and nothing else.

so in honor of reflecting, i looked back at my before picture today. something i don't do too often, but i should. it's actually hard for me to look at... i was wondering what makes it so difficult to face. now that i think about it, i look at my smile, and i don't look happy at all. it looks like something that's being forced on the outside yet deep down there's sadness. not necessarily sadness because i was overweight, but more of a sadness because i wasn't living life to it's fullest potential. i wasn't living life with purpose and meaning, i was just living, barely living.

now i look at my picture from this weekend and i'm happy. my smile is truly happy. fulfilling and happy. i'm not trying to say that i have found the meaning of life, or that i have found a place that i'm staying at forever, because it's a constant journey. however, i live life now the way i want to. i do what i want to do, try new things, reach for goals i never thought i could reach for. hell, 6 months ago i never ever thought i'd be planning to run a half marathon. i never thought that i would be such an inspiration to so many people, i never thought i'd hear the kind words people are telling me of how proud they are of me and how they look to me for guidance. if anything, i am so proud of myself for being able to reach out and touch so many others.

as for my current weight loss status. i'm still stuck at right about 160. i went to my free private training this weekend with josh and he brought up a good point. who is to say that 145 is the weight i need to be? where did i get that number?? and honestly, i don't know where it came from. it IS the top of the "healthy" weight zone for my height and age, but do they take into account muscle mass and body structure? i doubt it. yes, i could lose some more lbs, but is 145 where i should be reaching?? with that, i am going back to p4l starting tomorrow (yay) and i started my training for my 5k, which will lead to a 10k, which will lead to the rock n' roll half marathon in june. i am SO stoked. my diet is definitely going to change though with all this running i'm going to start doing. once i get it all dialed-in, i will share with you all my current gym/run schedule and eating habits!

some words of advice to everyone, if you're trying to get focused and really lose weight, peer pressure can be one of the most difficult things to overcome. however, if they are your TRUE friends, they will understand why you don't want to go to out to dinner, or drink alcohol and they will support you for wanting to change your life. it can be super hard, i know, but in the end the ones that matter will still be there for you.

so i know you've all seen these pics before, but it's kind of cool to see them in sequence..